A change of heart perhaps?

I seem to have no luck with parking my ambition in the garage of my dreams.

Was it just a fantasy and as such simply not possible to find a partner in life that matches all of my needs, desires and wants?

Recently I thought I was close but it turned out to be a disaster and even though I was prepared to give it a real chance in the end it showed me that I was not ready for commitment in that scale.

So now the walls of my quest have caved in on me and the end result is that I again am faced with a crossroad dilemma.

Should I follow my deepest and darkest fantasies or should I continue to starve in so many ways emotionally while I continue my, so far unfruitful search for the ultimate partner?

The desire  is inside me and I can feel the hunger again in every corner of my mind having gone almost 4 months without much that resembles BDSM.

A mind that craves this:


and this:


and this: